I'm Raising A Man

I’m Raising a Man!

I’ve been feeling a little vulnerable lately. Money is tight, the job search isn’t going well and I’m feeling a little bit guilty about having to put Big C in day care 2 days a week when I do start working. I guess the fact that we’re being audited by the IRS and my 14 year old cat was just diagnosed diabetic doesn’t help matters much either. Despite all this, I’m trying to stay positive, I love what I’m doing at my internship and, for now at least, Big C and I are having a blast this summer. And that is where my story begins…

I took Big C to Burger King for lunch today. I don’t necessarily like fast food but I do like the fact that he can play, contained, in the play area. I told him he had to eat at least 2 of his chicken nuggets and most of his French fries to get the toy, he complied. “Okay,” I thought,” I’m on a roll.” When he started to get a little mouthy I told him that he had to sit politely until I finished my cheese burger before he could go in the play area. After 10 or so minutes of him sprinting towards the play area and climbing on the table, I grabbed him, looked him in the eye and said, “You behave or we’re leaving.” He promptly started screaming at the top of his lungs. I packed up what was left of my lunch, grabbed his hand and headed for the door to lamentations of, “I’m sorry, Mama.” I was clearly frustrated and embarrassed at how my child was behaving when an older woman, maybe in her 50s called out, “Young lady! Young lady with the little boy!” It could only have been me she was calling to, “You’re doing the right thing,” she said, “You’re raising a man, not a brat,” and several people in the restaurant nodded in agreement. I replied, “Thank you,” and scurried Big C out the door.

By the time we got home, Big C had calmed down and so had I. We played in the back yard for about 90 minutes when Big C stated he was ready for his nap. After several rounds of the Cops theme song to lull him to sleep, he was out and I started thinking…

I wonder if the woman in Burger King even realizes what a kindness she did by calling out to me. I am a mom, further; I am the mother of a boy. It is my responsibility to make sure I am raising a moral, intelligent and compassionate man. I work, part time, with children in an upper middleclass neighborhood and some of the things these kids are allowed to get away with would curl your hair. My son will not be among the “entitled” generation. He is a spoiled boy but he is not rotten.  It is my job to make sure my son grows up to be a contributor to society. It is my job to make sure my son grows up to be a success in whatever endeavor he chooses. It is my job to make sure my son grows up to be respectful, honest and compassionate. And it is my calling in life to make sure he becomes a man. Not just a man anatomically speaking but a man figuratively speaking as well. Chivalry is not sexist, it is polite and my son will be polite. Being strong and successful is not elitist, it is ambitious and my son will be ambitious.

To me, my son embodies everything that is right and everything that will be right again with this country. Mothers, Fathers, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles of boys, make sure you are raising a man. Real, strong, chivalrous and bold men seem to be in short supply these days. I’m lucky enough to have married one and honored to be raising another.  

Obama Won't Be President Forever...

Barack Obama Will Not Be President Forever

http://boston.com/community/blogs/on_liberty/2011/05/while_obama_visits_the_queen_c.html

http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/massachusetts-the-canary-in-the-coal-mine-for-obamacare/?singlepage=true

I’ve been reading a lot lately. I read a lot anyway, but what I’ve been reading lately has been particularly disturbing. While our President is in London with the Queen, members of our Congress are looking to change Article I of the Constitution. In this article, it states that Congress is the sole entity constitutionally allowed to declare war. These afore mentioned members of Congress want to sneak a provision into a defense authorization bill that would give all authority to declare war to the president. The president seems to support this action, not necessarily in words but in actions. The “kinetic military action” in which we engaged in Libya is a glaring example of his support of congress’ provision. In response to a letter sent to the president from Speaker Boehner, the president merely asked for congress’ support in intervening in Libya. Knowing what we know, I don’t understand why the impeachment process hasn’t started.

Those of you who know me, know I’m not a fan on HR 3590, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. It is my belief that this is the first step in government takeover of health care. Our Federal Government has proven over and over again that the more responsibility they take on, the less efficient and cost effective they become. Our government has taken on the responsibilities of taking care of us when we are old, delivering our mail, paying our bills when we aren’t working, rebuilding our neighborhoods and towns when they are destroyed and educating our young, just to name a few. None of the previously mentioned programs are run very efficiently, they all take exorbitant amounts of time and money and they are bankrupting our country. However, we, as a society, have adopted this mentality that if the Federal Government stops funding or running something, it ceases to exist. All of these federally run programs would be more efficient and cost effective if they were run privately or on the state level, but that is not what this blog is about.

I titled this blog, “Barack Obama Will Not Be President Forever” because it’s true. Now, I’m certainly not wishing him ill, I am simply making a statement of fact. Even if congress changed the constitution tomorrow allowing him to run for presidential office as many times as he wants he still could not physically be president forever. So here is where the Libertarian side of me comes out, since we know Barack Obama is not capable of living forever, why are we granting him all this power? One day, hopefully sooner than later, he will inevitably pass the baton on to someone else and that person will inherit all the power congress is currently trying to give to President Obama.  What really frightens me is that President Obama already has a tremendous amount of power, and I’m not a fan. I feel he has abused his position and his policies are destroying the American way of life. But most who still favor Obama forget, someday, within our lifetimes a man or woman will be voted President of the U.S. and you may not like him or her only now they have even more power. Did you read that? SOMEDAY SOMEONE WILL BE VOTED PRESIDENT OF THE U.S. AND HE OR SHE WILL HAVE EVEN MORE POWER. In the immortal words of John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton, “Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Returning federally run programs back to the states or private sector to run does not destroy those programs, it makes them more efficient. If there is a market for these programs the people will make sure they exist. It’s time to start taking power and responsibility away from the Federal Government and giving it back to the voters and tax payers. The only way this country will crawl out of this economic disaster is to restore liberty to the people.

Bullying

Bullying…

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42005402/ns/politics-white_house/

It seems to me that bullying has been in the media an awful lot lately. Is it just me or is bullying on the rise? Perhaps, it’s the fact that no one can do anything anymore without it getting around the world and back again in a matter of minutes. Whether bullying has become more prevalent or information sharing has gotten more efficient is really inconsequential. The real story is that bullying or being bullied is a sad fact of life and it definitely hasn’t gotten any better. Most everyone has been affected by bullying. Whether the aggressor or the victim, we’ve all experienced it in one way, shape or form. What I don’t understand is why it has become a federal issue. Why is the President holding conferences on preventing bullying? Bullying is more of a FLOTUS issue than a Presidential one, if you ask me. Now, I do agree with the President on one point, we shouldn’t accept bullying as, “a harmless rite of passage.” Bullying of any form, whether violent or not, should not be tolerated anywhere. Still, I fail to see where this is a Presidential issue.

In my humble opinion, bullying hasn’t gotten better and maybe even gotten worse. We are raising generations of entitled children who aren’t allowed to fail and who don’t know how to handle adversity. These same children aren’t used to doing anything on their own, they have never had to adhere to deadlines nor taught how to handle constructive criticism. Is it any wonder they don’t know how to defend themselves against those who wish to victimize them?  

Let me put things into perspective: I am 5 feet 2 inches tall, I’m 115 pounds with red hair and I’m asthmatic. In my entire life, I never left the 5^th percentile for height and weight, I might as well have been born with a giant bulls eye birth mark on my forehead. Needless to say, I was mercilessly bullied in Junior High (I believe folks call it middle school now.) I always had to have a lower locker because I wasn’t tall enough to see the numbers on the dial of the top lockers. In 7^th and 8^th grades my bullies were Rex B. and Billy C., the 2 boys in the lockers above me. They delighted in tormenting me on a daily basis. On any given day I would get shoved in my locker, have my books thrown out into the hall, pushed, called names, etc. On those very special occasions, you know, picture day, dress up day, spirit day, they delighted in pouring bottles of Polo on my head and down my back. (To this day, the smell of the cologne makes me feel panicky and vulnerable.) Everyday, I would go home depressed and crying and everyday my mother would tell me to go to the Principal’s office, tell a teacher or get a member of the faculty involved. The Principal would give them a “stern talking to” and put a “bad referral” in their permanent record. The next day, the punishment would start all over again. My Junior High had a “zero tolerance” policy on violence but what they were doing to me wasn’t technically their definition of violent. So, the cycle would start all over again, I’d go home depressed, my mom would tell me to tell the Principal, the Principal would give them a bad referral and I would get it worse the next day.

Then, one Sunday afternoon, I started having an anxiety attack. There were less than 18 hours before I would have to encounter Rex and Billy again. I would start to sweat, I’d throw up, I couldn’t stop crying and my parents were totally beside themselves. Clearly what they were coaching me to do wasn’t working and I was becoming despondent and suicidal. My dad waited for my mom to leave the room and pulled me aside, “If you ever tell your mother I said this, I will deny it. Tomorrow, when Rex and Billy start to harass you, you turn around and punch both of them as hard as you can.” I nodded my head, between tears and my dad held me as I melted into a puddle of fear and dread. (I am crying as I recall this difficult part of my life.)

The next morning started as usual, they yanked my books from me, threw the contents of my locker in to the hall and attempted to shove me into my locker. I was kneeling on the ground (at my lower level locker) and turned to be eye to male anatomy with Rex, the instigator and primary aggressor. Remembering what my father said to me the day before, I summoned up all the rage I had bottled up over the last almost 2 years and let Rex have it, right in the… Rex fell to the floor, crying and screaming. I went over to the nearest hall monitor and pointed at Rex, writhing on the floor. “I did that.” I said to her. She picked Rex up off the floor and helped him to the nurse’s office while I waited for the Principal to see me. My parents were called, along with Rex and Billy’s parents, the boys’ parents were aware of what their sons had been doing to me but I don’t know if they ever did anything privately to get them to stop. Because of my school’s zero tolerance policy on violence, I was threatened with 3 days of suspension and possible expulsion pending a hearing with the school board. My parents fought tooth and nail for me and I never received either punishment.

Now, I’m not condoning violence, quite the contrary. What I did was wrong, I could have seriously injured Rex, permanently. And, while it did solve the problem in the long run, I should never have let it get to that point. I should have stuck up for myself sooner, I should have surrounded myself with my friends, I should have…. However, my school owns some of the responsibility too. The policy should have been a zero tolerance policy on bullying, of any form, not just violence. The punishment for prolonged torment should have been much steeper than a “bad referral.” They should have moved me or the boys to another locker on another level of the school. There are a dozen or more things my school could have done to help me but they didn’t.

My point to all this? We need to stop raising our children to be victims. I allowed myself to be victimized because I thought I was too small to defend myself, I know better now. I will teach my son not only to not be a victim but to step in when he sees someone being victimized. I will not allow my son to go through what I went through by teaching him self respect, how to handle adversity and to be an example of how to stop bullying. Now the schools have to do something about it too.

As a side note, I took my son to a local fast food restaurant the other day. There was a (older, bigger) little girl keeping the smaller children off the play area. Most of the toddlers cowered to her pushing and yelling but not my son. He (at the ripe old age of 2) opened the wings of his Batman action figure and pressed it to her chest, once she started yelling and pushing, he yelled and pushed right back. The girl relented and all the other smaller and younger children that she had intimidated into leaving the play area followed my son up the stairs to the slide. Now, my son is no hero but I am proud to tell you that he looked fear right in the eye and stood up for himself. I wish I'd had that courage in Jr. High and I hope he doesn't lose it.

I realized in that moment that I have a burning need to seek justice where I percieve there to be injustice. My 2 year old son has shown me the kind of courage I need (and know I now have) as I persue my education and eventual career. Perhaps we don't give children the credit they sometimes deserve for having all the answers.

Racism

Who’s The Racist?

http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2011/03/02/obama-says-race-a-key-component-in-tea-party-protests

The main stream media has had a field day with the Tea Party in the last 2 years. They want their viewers to believe we are “gun toting, white, middle-America racists.” Now, I’m not so naive as to think that there aren’t any racists within our ranks, I’m sure there are. If racists have infiltrated the Tea Party then they have certainly infiltrated the Democratic and Progressive parties as well. I can tell you, from personal experience, if there were ever people being offensive or racist at any of the Tea Party or 9/12 events I’ve attended, they were weeded out and told to either pipe down or leave. The Tea Party I know does not tolerate name calling and/or offensive behavior. We do, however, invite polite debate and amiable alternative opinions. Qualities some on the left seem to be lacking.

Now, our illustrious President has been cited in a new book, Family of Freedom: Presidents and African-Americans in the White House, agreeing with the following, "race was probably a key component in the rising opposition to his presidency from conservatives, especially right-wing activists in the anti-incumbent Tea Party Movement." Additionally, at that same private dinner this book cites, our President added that racism was a “subterranean agenda of the movement.” My first reaction was sadness, now I’m just mad.

Really? Mr. President, do you really think your policies to be so flawless that they couldn’t possibly be challenged on their merit? And how do you account for those among us who are African-American and disagree with your policies? Are they racists too? Additionally, where are you getting your facts? Have you ever attended a Tea Party or 9/12 meeting or event? Have you ever spoken to a member of the Tea Party? Have you ever read any of our many publications or websites? Are you aware of our philosophy on the role of Government in America? At what point does the above philosophy mention race to be a factor in our political opinions?

President Obama was supposed to be the president to bridge the racial divide. He campaigned on a promise to bring America and all Americans together. In my humble opinion, things have gotten worse. The nation is more polarized than ever. I decided during the Bush administration that I didn’t like the direction our government was taking our country. Back in 2007, when the housing market crashed, the stock market bottomed out and the company I worked for started its two yearlong round of lay-offs I knew I needed to somehow get involved in getting our country back on track. In 2007-2008 I was called a patriot, back then I was told I was on the right track. My tactics and political opinions haven’t changed but now, I’m called a racist. Friends and colleagues that I’ve known for years are calling me paranoid. People I’ve known for decades are saying I must be a racist because I affiliate myself with the Tea Party. I hear those same friends regurgitating the same rhetoric I hear on the main stream media. It doesn’t matter that they have known me for decades, that in those decades I’ve never demonstrated any propensity towards racism, yet, they seem fit to label me as such because they “heard it on the news.”

There have been a number of times where our President has stuck his proverbial foot in his mouth. His opinions regarding Scott Walker’s handling of the teachers union contracts in Wisconsin, for example. Or the statement he made about the Cambridge police officer arresting Henry Louis Gates Jr. after getting a call from a neighbor reporting a prowler. Perhaps this racism comment is yet another example.

The Tea Party is not and has never been a racist organization. It was not founded by racists on racist principles. We are not motivated by anything other than the desire to make America a better place for ALL citizens. Yes, Mr. President, ALL citizens. You seem to forget that those polarizing statements you make further alienate a large percentage of your constituents. Whether you like it or not,( and for that matter) whether we like it or not, you are our president too. Shame on you Mr. President, those kinds of comments are vicious and unfair and, quite frankly, unbecoming of your office. So, with all due respect, Mr. President, perhaps it is you who “has acted stupidly.”

Should We Repeal Obamacare?

Let's get one think straight first, the U.S. has one of the best, if not THE best, health care system in the world. We lead the pack on advances in medicine, research and generation after generation, we are living longer and healthier lives. That being said, our health INSURANCE system is tragically flawed.

As it stands, affording health insurance is a difficult task for many Americans and their families. So, what needs to be fixed is not so much the quality of the care we receive but rather, access to that care and the the ability to afford it. If anyone disagrees, I'd appreciate your input.

I attempted to read H.R. 3590 but there were so many references to other bills, amendments and laws that I either couldn't find or didn't want to read, that it was nearly impossible for me to comprehend. I have a child to raise, a family to take care of, school to attend... let's just say I gave it my best shot. What I ended up doing was a side-by-side comparison of the important points from each side of the political fence. I was willing to give H.R. 3590 the benefit of the doubt but after everything I read, from both Republican and Democratic websites, the bill still came up lacking.

Look, I'm not totally against a government run program, but only as a last resort. Our health insurance issues go beyond just making doctors and insurance companies care for the uninsured. Additionally, I have issues with the provision that makes it mandatory that everyone purchase health insurance by 2013 or you are assessed a fine by the IRS. About the only thing I found that I liked was the provision making insurance companies cover patients with pre-existing conditions. As a person with a pre-existing condition, I found it difficult to find affordable medical insurance and when I did, they refused to cover anything that had to do with my pre-existing condition, preventative or otherwise. As a previously self employed person, it became so expensive to pay for my insurance and my expensive prescriptions (despite my doctor and the Rx companies help) I had to go out and get a "real job." However, this doesn't mean I am necessarily in favor of Obamacare.

Obamacare doesn't account for the actual issues we have with health insurance.

•         Tort actions are a large reason our doctor bills are so high. Doctors have to pay exorbitant premiums and mostly choose to settle out of court in order to avoid trial. Doctors order many expensive (and sometimes unnecessary) tests in an effort to avoid a law suit.
•         Portability is something I've been researching and the more I research, the more I like it. Portability will allow a worker to take their insurance with them when they leave a company. With portability, the employee can negotiate a reasonable wage to cover their insurance premiums or negotiate with their new employer to have them pay a percentage of their health insurance premiums. That way the individual is in charge of what kind of plan they have and how much they choose to spend.
•       More focus on Health-Insurance Savings Accounts. An employer could contribute a certain dollar amount into a HSA and if the employee needs to go to the doctor for any reason they would pay the doctor directly from that savings account. HSAs eliminate the necessity of a billing department and eliminates the wait for payment for the doctor. Cutting out the billing middle-man cuts down on the doctors overhead, thus passing the savings on to the patient.
•       Allowing insurance companies to do business in other states. This issue is what I believe to be the biggest problem with our current health insurance system. As it stands, if you live in a state where there exists only one health insurance provider, you are limited to using that provider and paying what they dictate are the necessary costs. If the costs are too high, the employer will pass those costs on to the employee. If the state borders are opened up, and health insurance companies are allowed to compete the way car insurance and home owners insurance companies compete, health insurance companies will be forced to become more competitive, thus lowering costs to the patients.

As I have done in previous posts, I pose questions. My questions are meant to stimulate conversation and, quite frankly, to get some answers. I don't have all the answers and I'm not so close minded as to think that sometimes, on occasion, my opinions are wrong. With that being said, here we go:

   1.) If Obamacare is such a great plan, why do over 1,000 companies now have vouchers exempting them from participating?
   2.) If the above bullet points are the major culprits for the high cost of health insurance, why aren't those issues addresses in Obama's health care bill?
   3.) Why is there a penalty assessed by the IRS if an individual does not purchase health care insurance? Isn't that technically a tax?
   4.) Why jump straight into a government run system when there are such obvious issues with Medicare and Medicaid?
   5.) When has the Federal Government ever been able to run a national program efficiently? Is it truly possible for Obama's health care plan to save the average tax payer money?

Now I am seeing that Michelle Bachman found $105 BILLION mandatory spending fund hidden in the bill. I'm not sure if this has been substantiated yet, but if it turns out to be true, can we afford this? We are currently struggling with a 1.3 trillion dollar deficit.

Again, keep it clean and civil. I'm looking for answers, not enemies.

Unions...

Unions have been the news a lot lately. If you didn't already know that, you must be living under a rock. No offense to those who live under rocks.

Here is what I know about Unions:
   They were formed in the 1800's to combat unfair and unsafe working conditions.
   They fought for shorter work days (first lowered to 10 hours from 12 then Congress approved the standard 8 hour day)
   They represented the employees of certain companies when negotiating for higher wages and benefits.
   They supported the enactment of OSHA, 40 hour work weeks and minimum wage.

That's about it. I remember learning about the deplorable working conditions in factories during the industrial revolution. We had to read The Jungle, which was gross, and how it lead to workers rights and what we now know as the standard work week.

It seems to me, if it hadn't been for unions in the early part of last century, we might not have weekends, companies contributing to medical benefits & retirements plans and Labor Day. They were a necessity in a time when there were no laws protecting employees and employers. They fought for better working conditions for everyone, and got them!

Here is where I get a little confused:

•    If the unions wanted better working conditions, benefits and workers rights and got them, why are they still around? We have laws now protecting us from exploitation. So, they won, right? Why do we still have unions?
•    If we live in a free country, but your state contracts with unions, do you have to join? If so, why?
•    Is there a union that works? Are there unions that don't bankrupt companies and states?
•    What are the real benefits of keeping unions around? (keeping in mind that we have laws protecting employees now.)
• If unions went the way of the dodo, what would happen? (Seriously, no inflated, paranoid rantings like those who post on social media sites. I want to know what would REALLY happen.)

I'm not trying to anger and/or annoy anyone. I seriously want answers to the above questions. My intentions are not to alienate my friends or readers.

It's no secret that I am a fiscal conservative and I'm proud to support the Tea Party and 9/12 projects. However, that doesn't make me or anyone I associate with close-minded. I am, as of this moment, of the opinion that unions have out grown their usefulness and should be disolved. BUT! I COULD BE WRONG! If there are rational, persuasive answers to the above questions, I'd like to hear them.

Let's keep this civil people, I'm not trying to change your mind, don't get mad if you don't change mine.
PEACE!